The Three Mile Turd Episode

More pointless sophomoric humor available at this link.

This evening’s show title is a direct result of a conversation about GTA 4’s new expansion-grade material, but it isn’t intended as any kind of slander.  It’s a tasteless poop-joke that we honestly struggled against using (coming, as it did, so soon after a wiener-joke), but it’s hard to talk yourself out of something that makes you laugh.   None of us has committed the money to investigate the Lost and Damned properly, but the surprising reviews are working in its favor, and it seems willing to deliver on length what it isn’t willing to compromise on cost.

There’s also mailbag to be delivered, which means a quick mea culpa for breezing past the accomplishments of Final Fantasy XI, and an enlightened description of the ridiculous Rube Goldberg process our show has to travel through to get from our board to your earbuds.  It’s going to happen this way nearly every time.  We’ve only just gotten used to the fact, so we can understand if you folks are still scratching your heads from time to time.

An extra preview-spoiler for next time: Scott and I totally didn’t play each other in Street Fighter.


The Everything’s a Gun Episode

Our newest episode is locked and loaded behind this link.

You’ll forgive us for spending a little time here examining games and gameplay that most of you will have long since have gotten over.  I have no personal history with the God of War series; the PS2 having already become a part of my past by the time of the first game’s release.  In fact, Scott is the only host to have played either of the games, and as a consequence they’ve never been a part of our usual dialogue.

I’d like to say that I was compelled to start playing the games because of their reputation or on a recommendation, but it has everything to do with the recently extended teaser trailer, and the guilt I will certainly feel at having been out of touch with a clearly energetic franchise when the third game makes the scene.  There’s no chance I won’t be clawing my way across that titan’s landscape, and I’d sure as hell like to know what’s going on when I do.

We’re also delivering a very special portion of an otherwise unremarkable episode today.  Jeremy has apparently decided to spawn once again, and since we’re pretty fond of him we can only be happy that he’s decided to extend his own franchise even further.  Congratulations are also in order for the little lady, since we’re pretty sure she’s going to play a significant part in this process.  Bummer about PAX, though, Becky.  Maybe next year.


The Phallic Force Episode

This weekend’s suggestive themes are now available for download.

Our show has a strong sense of its own past, and the strongest memories are of things we’ve done together. We share an obvious affection for games in general, but despite a deep love of multiplayer, we neglect almost every opportunity to share in the gameplay itself. We have the appropriate internet connections, potent hardware, and real human proximity, but still leave each to his own in most cases and struggle to come up with a reason why.

History tells us that City of Heroes was our last best moment together – something shared between hosts, producers, significant others, friends, co-workers and guys we met on the internet. That time didn’t end well for anyone, really, and it didn’t end all at once. We shuffled off in different directions like weary protesters, a few of us having broken our backs on the cause.

With any luck, the near-future may see that trend returning. Jumpgate Evolution has a small chance of satisfying the “Freelancer should have been an MMO” contingent among us, and Champions Online stands to amend the appalling wrong visited on the heads of our happy band, despite the platform diaspora we suffered in the wake of its collapse. If approachable gameplay meets cross-platform functionality in an MMO with shit-hot character creation, then it’s safe to say the deal is done.

As a post-script, we’d like to point out that the long overdue spoilery discussion of Prince of Persia is available after the break at the end of the episode. We’re hopeful that you can attend.


The Audacity of Hope Episode

We’re taking a crack at feeling better about things at this link.

The hot demo drops from last Thursday did all that they were expected to do for the show.  They alleviated whatever fears may have kept us from at least a couple of the games we’d sworn ahead of time to purchase and to love and to cherish for ever.  Killzone’s still a day-one pickup, Halo Wars still looks like the first Halo game with a well-drawn story and, incidentally, we find that it really is possible to love Burnout more with every minor tweak as easily as it is with every major content infusion.

It’s also quite clear that some prayers we hadn’t even bothered to utter have been answered with a clarion call from EA.  The Battlefield franchise in 2009 is active in more ways than we (err, I) could have hoped to see.  With Heroes in late spring, 1943 in the summer and the Bad Company sequel near the end of the year, there should be scads and oodles of BF’s brand of combat to be found across all platforms.  The one dark cloud in the sky – for PC diehards, at least – is the lack of any word about a proper Battlefield 3.  All we can think is that strong support for the lineup of today may well deliver the wish list of tomorrow.  One can always hope, right?


The Capacity For Disappointment Episode

We’ll try not to let you down at this link.

We’re a bit down on our uppers for this show, much like the poor child featured in the introduction.  Sadly, for us, we’re not head-lolling after a righteous dose of pharmacology, but are sick after the loss of yet another 360, and at the prospect of being dramatically mislead by our own hopes for quarter one games.  It would be horrible to see this anomalous batch of major brands suffer from shoddy craftsmanship – despite the volume of letdowns we’re sure we could endure.

But don’t mind the tone.  It’s the by-product of too much natural enthusiasm.  We’ve got more to look forward to than we have to keep us occupied during this one particular evening.  It’s best to read between the lines for what we intend to have fun doing in mere days.  Besides, the future of this episode is happening as I write this, and I can already tell that at least some of what we’re hoping for will come to pass.


The Half Naked Episode

An unpardonably late episode of In-Game Chat is now available.

It’s my sacred duty following each episode to string together some of my own thoughts and pin them to the show file that Scott and Jeremy (and formerly Daniel) have made available before dumping the whole mess onto the webs.  This episode should have been ready for consumption many days ago, but catastrophic modem failure sent me to a dark hell of no internet for the entire weekend.  Other things also happened and so here we are.

In any case, what I’d have normally written in this space is irrelevant now, so I’d simply like to apologize for the delay, and for the bumper to bumper show delivery you’ll get this week thanks to the snafu.  We hope you enjoy what we brung you – a second shot at Mike Wilford, zombies of all sorts and a lot more attention for things that mattered last week.